Throwing up a random post… one that allows me to offload a few ideas… so I can have room to create more exciting reading for you down the road. Now that the warning label has been written, here is a splattering of randomness

Play on words

There is a company who uses the tag-line “there’s an app for that” which is what inspired the title of this post… Is there a kink for that?… and I’m sure there is. However, let me not digress too far off my rambling plan.

One of the frustrations that I tried to capture in some of my early writings is the following… what does one do when the kink they love is not appreciated by their partner? no… I don’t have an answer today

The temptation by many fellas is to over assert themselves and demand that their woman participates wholeheartedly and give them the pleasure they want. The reality is this, you might successfully coerce your lady to partake for a while, but it won’t be forever. Her heart will not be in it and you’ll create the very resentment that will totally chew you to pieces later on.

so…what’s the compromise?

The rub in this conversation is this… certain guys find themselves in situations where they are totally dependent on their woman for their sexual satisfaction… and when they can’t get that… le sigh.

I recall a conversation I had with a guy many years ago. He had a thing for his lady dressing up extra hot whenever they went out on dates. At first, I instantly felt I could relate, but cautiously kept those feelings to myself. As he relayed his sad song, it became clear that he had fallen for a lady who rather not expose any of herself to anyone in public. She dressed as casually and as covered up as any ultra conservative sporty gal would.

He was up to his eyes in frustration. He loved the bodycon short dresses. She was having none of it. He loved her in heels. She was all about her flip-flops and Vans. He was all about makeup and she was all about being natural.

To see them together, they were a match made in heaven. They got along great. They oozed that passionate love that made you sick because they just didn’t have a room to go to.

Worse, whenever he had a bad day at work, nothing snapped him out of his doldrums quicker than seeing his lady dressed to kill. He would move mountains for her if she showed up dressed to the nines. However, over time he learned that whenever his moods dipped, hers would match and her sweatpants came out, hair up in her baseball cap, and the tub of ice cream came out for him to co-consume with her as she dove into his feelings, the very last thing he wanted to talk about.

His confession to me felt a bit excessive at the time. He was not going to propose to her until she agreed to change up her wardrobe practices. He needed the sexy and he figured he had leverage, as they both loved each other dearly. He thought she would cave and give. But she did not. Now he was facing breaking up with the very love of his life who he wanted more than anything.

Back then, I was trying to explain to him… it’s not fair to hold her to such a ridiculous standard. It’s only physical attributes. It doesn’t match up to the soul connection. It is not that serious. You can’t make her change. You can’t force her. It’s not right.