Gratitude goes a long way. It’s often something many people would rather skip over. As if showing gratitude made one less. Can’t speak for the ladies… many men have an issue saying “Thank you”
Thing is simple, showing a bit of gratitude can greatly encourage the other to continue what they’re doing that you enjoy so much. Now, showing gratitude is not a magic pill to get more from someone. It’s just a way of showing appreciation for what one gets.
Recently, had the experience of chatting with a group of guys about their relationships. Of the many points that came up, the one that seemed to cause a lot of… uncomfortable squirming… was the showing of appreciation when the wives did something for them.
Let’s explain a bit more clearly.
Dude was not feeling thanking his lady for getting the house clean. Worse, he felt he shouldn’t have to thank her for getting him off later that night.
Little did this man know that his lady was tired of being treated like a third class citizen maid. She wanted respect and appreciation for her contribution to their marriage.
To him, it was her duty. No one rewards duty, right? Wrong.
Doing one’s duty is it’s own reward many times. However, being appreciated for the efforts and sacrifices makes a huge difference for the vast majority of people.
Nowhere is this more critical than when someone shares their vulnerability with you. In marriage as in all other forms of deep trust relationships, showing that efforts are appreciated makes a huge difference. Sex is not an automatic guaranteed deal every single night. Playing with the paddle and cuffs is not a guaranteed every single day. Same with a hot cooked meal.
Why?
Life happens. People feel tired. People have to work late. People have feelings that may not be receptive to serving someone else. That’s just how life works.
If your partner takes time to push their issues and emotions to the side to facilitate you getting your needs met… do have the courtesy of showing gratitude. Could be a simple “thank you” or extended after-care or some other form of appreciation. Buying a diamond, while cool, isn’t always the most personal way of showing appreciation.
Often, a person has a kink they enjoy but their partner could do without said kink. If they participate in your kink, you owe them gratitude at the very least. Give it to them. Don’t ever take it for granted that they participated in something they otherwise would not have.
Many guys have asked women to do them favors. It could be online or in person. The ask varies a bit from person to person, but it always seems to be about what is desired and wanted… a need or urge to fulfill.
“Can you wear my favorite panties” or “Can you wear that outfit” or “Can you swallow” or “Can you let me…” “Can you take this picture this way” or “Can you text me this…”
Few will take the time to say “thank you”. As if the woman is a gratification ATM. Worse, once the lady agrees to meet the need, the guy starts feeling entitled to the favor and starts demanding more.
Sure, the reverse scenario does exist… in which women do make demands and get pushy… however… speaking from a masculine point of view today…
Romance, love, relationships, and connections are not one way streets. They’re not all about serving you. When the service is directed towards you, do remember to say “thank you” and mean it too.
Gratitude. A beautiful thing.
This week is Thanksgiving in the US of A. We aren’t the only nation to have a day of thanks for the amazing freedoms and very existence enjoyed. Using this holiday to remind all to not only be grateful for family and friends on a given day, but to show that appreciation in a meaningful way to the people you deeply love and cherish.
Nothing motivates another to keep pleasing like gratitude – a few poets have said. Doms, let your sub know you appreciate how they avail themselves to you. Subs, let your Dom know how much you appreciate the way he cares for you.
Don’t wait for the act of passion to scream out “thank you”. That is not as much gratitude as it is an exclamation of passion. Take time to show that appreciation by itself. Do it such that they understand that you’re appreciative of them and what they do. It’s the lube that keeps the passion going as bodies slip together in harmony.
Until next time, Happy Thanksgiving week!
p.s. thank you for taking time to read this blog and sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate it. It encourages me. And it helps me feel connected to you. Thank You!
Shallows of the Deep 