before we start… definition time: getting the girl here means getting into a relationship with the girl you want. Now enjoy the post
So… you want to get the girl?
There are a few issues the male species suffers with. Dumbness excluded, the lack of understanding of women is the biggest issue afflicting the male specie.
We say we want to get the girl, but we refuse to learn the art of getting the girl. We say we want her to submit, but we do not do anything to encourage her desires to submit.
Before anyone gets their feathers ruffled… you’ve got to admit, that was a good catchy intro… right? Yup
There are a few horrible assumptions that guys make… that gets in the way of them getting the girl…
- She owes you…
- You’re doing her a favor…
- She needs you…
- You’re the best thing she’s ever seen or will ever see…
- It’s her life’s desire to be with you…
Let’s just start with the basics. Women don’t need men. Men need women. Sure, that sounds so not sexy. That sounds so lame. Sometimes, the truth is rather lame and boring. Hang in there, an explanation is coming.
The origin story
Independent of your belief systems, in the beginning, man needed a lady to be by his side. Without said lady, the future of mankind would fail, as men can not produce offspring without the help of massive science (which has yet to perfect the craft mind you)
Secondly, independent of your belief system, a man will chase a woman to have a woman. In the wild, it is not common to see a woman chase a man. This does not mean it does not happen or is not normal. It just means, under typical observational circumstances, the man will be seen pursuing the woman.
Third, in instances where neither gender is able to find a suitable mate, the male specie fares far worse that the female in longevity, health, wellness, social integrity, and any other metrics that science has devised.
Conclusion, contrary to the ego’s wishes, man needs his lady. To that point, it is wise for said males to learn the craft of getting his lady. Without understanding this craft, lots of hearts will suffer needlessly. Lots of respect will be lost pointlessly.
What is this craft you speak of?
Respect in all of it’s glorious forms. Treat each other in the respectful ways you’d like to be treated. No man loves to get catcalled. Well… not usually. Only those who have a narcissistic lean or inflated ego or some malady of the sorts… love being catcalled.
It is true that males love having their egos stroked. That is well documented. That is different from being catcalled. There is an art to stroking a male’s ego too, but few women need higher levels of coaching to get that lesson figured out.
Question of respect… with respect to getting the girl
The female specie loves to feel safe, cherished, wanted, desired, and nourished.
Why?
So she can focus on the business of keeping her community alive and well. That could be her off-springs as well as it could be her friends and family. Females do not like to feel at risk of threats from their environment. It’s not risk aversion, it’s just the peace that comes from not having to worry.
Any male who can provide that sense of security will be seen as respectful of her desires. Such a male usually is polite, as the gruff and rough types can appear fun but do not always instill the sense of security. Those rough types tend to be less loyal.
A gentleman on the other hand is quite different. He knows how to be respectful and has the ability to be rough. He is wise in the judicious use of both. Such a version of a male is sought after above all other versions.
To the female, this gentleman is exactly the security she needs. He is gentle with her and protective of her. He can defend her and put other males in check. He’s also not afraid to provide protective boundaries that keeps her safe from her own internal demons that may want to show their faces at inopportune times
Part of this respect agenda means that the male will actually pursue the female in an orderly creative way.
Shallows of the Deep 