Ballerina’s Holiday

One particular year, after a lot of miserable battles with the snow, Belle had a long chat with her photographer and poured out her soul to him. She spoke freely and openly. She wanted him to understand the miracles he was operating on her.

To her great surprise, she found out how much healing she was bringing to his life. How much he needed her. How much he valued her. It surprised her to find out that he felt she was vital to his emotional well-being.

Here she thought that she was just his muse. She couldn’t understand why he found her figure so appealing and so interesting for his art projects. He made her look amazing. But she had no idea that all their chats during shoots was actually healing his soul.

Belle needed to take a bit of distance to understand this. She was needing him for sure but she was not ready to hear that she was that needed.

She needed a bit of a holiday.

No man had wanted her for her heart. No man had wanted her for her spirit. No man took time to see past her demons and struggles. No man took time to listen to her.

This photographer did.

And he needed her.

With all the women he had available, why her.. Belle often wondered.

He could convince any number of younger models to show the goods… yet he never asked. They were throwing themselves at him, but he never noticed. Sure, he had a circle of trusted models, but they weren’t barely 20. What was this need for a specific slightly more mature group?

Belle wanted to know but was afraid to know. What if it was out of pity? What if it was because she had low confidence and would never challenge him? But he was always perfectly courteous and respectful. He never took advantage of any weakness Belle had.

In fact, whenever she showed him a weakness, he always found something positive to say to help her feel safe. He always managed to patiently work with her until she found strength to shield her weakness from the general public.

No other man broke past her barriers and saw her heart for what it was.

Belle had to run. She had to hide. He saw too much. If he kept gazing, she might damage him with her flaws and many sins. What if her venom slipped and poisoned him and corrupted his joy with his own lady?

Belle retreated. She had to hide. She had to protect this perfect knight from her own heart. He would have to understand somehow.

Yet, try as she might, he manage to always think of her, drop her a note, reflect on good times, remind her of her sweetness, even share a few photos with her from their many photo sessions.

Belle missed and craved those days, but she had to protect him from her. She had to hide the fact that her heart felt like it was betraying him by allowing a boyfriend into her life. A jealous guy who hated any competition, even on a friendly basis.

She knew her friend would not approve of such a guy who didn’t value her as much as she should be, a guy who preferred to ram himself deeply into her despite her pleas for gentle loving. Her boyfriend always took…never gave.

This boyfriend was her penitence for not being a good girl. She would accept her punishment called love because she couldn’t be saved. Even though she missed the connection to her photographer terribly. It just had to be.

But then, one day, her photographer emailed her a set of of photos from one of her holidays. One in which she had felt especially horrible and ugly. He had made her look angelic.

Wiping tears from her eyes, she studied the photos. That day, she had allowed her photographer to help her put on her nylon. His touch was so soothing, so smooth, so gentle. He understood her pains. He was easing her fears and scars out of her. His touch was just the right amount of delicate. He didn’t push past her comfort zone. He didn’t push his welcome.