His mother pushed him under the bench ahead of her with her foot. In one quick motion, she had reached down and scooped him up and flew out the church. More like grabbed one arm and one leg and ran out of the church.

Andrew had never understood how he went from wiping a bead of sweat to the woman’s bathroom. Now he saw it. His mother flew into the women’s bathroom and pulled a belt off one of the teens who was leaving the bathroom.

She had used the belt to lay a salvo of hits. Andrew watched his motionless body taking two dozen hits as his mother unleashed anger and humiliation in a very frantic panicked frenzy.

When the little Andrew opened his eyes, it was clear the boy was confused. He recoiled fast under the sink of the bathroom. Out of range, the boy asked to know what was his sin.

The mother’s acidity of tone explained how she could never show her face in the community again. She had not asked the Lord to have a perverted sex feign who would eventually prey on innocent children.

His mother was crying intensely. She looked very shamed. She looked very distraught. As if her life had come to an end.

By the time she pulled herself together, little Andrew looked lost in a fog of confusion. He had single-handedly destroyed his mother.

What was it about a very high heeled shoe that he had missed. It was something the single women of the church wore. It was something a few married women did but the majority did not. Yet. Somehow, it held some kind of power. And he had unleashed it to ruin his mother. All because he was a deviant sex craved… wait… what?

What did those words even mean?

Before the words could form to even leave his mouth, his mother grabbed him by his ear and pulled up upright and away from underneath the sink. He was under strict orders to avoid all eye contact.

After mother had washed her faced and composed herself. She unlocked the bathroom door and marched her son out. Everyone was gathered. Everyone wanted to know what had happened.

Was he OK?

Before Andrew could say anything, his mother explained to everyone that she had the power to birth a child and it was her right to put him in a grave for being bad. He had been horrible. He had done the unthinkable. He had desecrated the sanctuary.

She was taking him home and would await the arrival of the minister so they could pray for his deliverance. He would not be back until it was clear he had learned his lesson. The church was not going to be subject to his lunacy ever again.

And with that… she smacked the back of Adnrew’s head so hard the boy chocked and gagged on his own tongue. She grabbed a fist full of hair and shoved him hard towards the exit of the church.

Andrew, not understanding, walked with as straight a posture as he could muster… making sure not a single tear flowed. His body was aching. Now he knew why, he had been heavily beaten.

With the zoomed out view of the replay, Andrew saw the woman who had the pink heels at the every edge of the crowd. There was concern on her face. Even the edge of a tear, but he wasn’t sure.

His father was racing to the scene a bit late and highly confused.

That night in Andrew’s bedroom.

After the evening’s activities was done, Mr Edward had a chat with Andrew. The father was trying to figure out what had happened. Andrew was mute.

When all efforts to connect with Andrew had failed, Mr Edward walked out and talked to his wife. Eventually, their voices had risen to a loud angry yelling match. Doors slammed.

When he heard footfalls again, his mother was holding a long heavy paddle.

“This is what happens to boys who humiliate me in front of my friends. Don’t you ever do this to me again” hissed a livid Mrs Edward.

The beating stopped when the paddle broke. By then, his body was covered in blood. Yet, Andrew had not cried. He had found a space to camp out in his mind. He was not going to show weakness to anyone ever again.

Then mother left. Andrew stayed standing a long time.

His father came in.

“Son, how can you do this to me. How can you ruin my life? Why? What did I do so evil to you that you repay me like this?” Mr Edward implored

His father took out his belt. Readied himself to spank Andrew. Then, turned on the light to see where to land the belt.

On seeing the mess, his father dropped the belt and covered his mouth.

He walked out… stunned.

The yelling resumed. More doors slammed.

Andrew remained standing.

His dad returned.

His dad explained to him that what had happened was to never happen again. This type of behavior was reserved only for married people. What Andrew had done was violate the very sacred boundary of the holiest of holiest institutions outside the church.

Mr Edward felt that God would eventually forgive Andrew because he was so young. The spanking Andrew deserved, his mother would take for him. Andrew would have to atone his wrong doings however. And once he had paid penitence to his mother, he would have to do so to his mother’s friend.

Until everything was smoothed over, Andrew was to stay home and not leave his room. It would be two weeks before Andrew saw anything outside his room.

During those weeks, the mother had been very busy on the phone doing extensive damage control. By the time Andrew was allowed back to the church, the story had been solidified.

As Andrew sped the tape forward through time looking for clues, dread weighed his spirits down. There was no need to go too far forward, as the painful memories of less distant incidences were better remembered than the earlier ones.

The official story was that Andrew had been caught looking up another woman’s skirt and attempting to reach up between her legs. The mothers were appalled and kept their daughters far from him. The fathers would shake their heads in disapproval and would quietly high five him when no one was looking.

Needless to say, Andrew had no friends for many many years to come. He was like the plague to the others.

It wasn’t until the third incident that Andrew got himself a therapist however. That one, that incident, would not get replayed today however.

Back to the present.

Andrew was totally spent. He had gained valuable insights he had not had before. He was struggling to make sense of it all.

After all these years of thinking of himself as a hell bound deviant, could it possibly be true that he was just a normal boy caught at the wrong place at the wrong time?

He dared not think of his mother as wrong however.

If it had been only one very shameful humiliation, it was possible that he was not abnormal. But there had been the car incident however.

There was the car incident… Andrew mused in sadness.

The other incident, Andrew dared not conjure up the image. That image could never fall into the hands of his tormenting demons. They would break his spirit if they knew about that… that… single most humiliating devastating… never mind.

Andrew hung his head in shame. He was tired. This was too much for one meditation session.

Flashing before his eyes, Andrew saw the pink lipstick smile of Kate and the sensation of her nylon leg against his…

Andrew doubled over and lost his dinner. He was not worthy. He was too much of a screw up to even have Kate’s radiant beauty in his life.

After cleaning up

Andrew sat on the edge of his bed. The memory of the day was super sweet… if you exclude the hellish trip back in time. He had felt the softest sensation of Kate. He now wanted more. He felt totally intoxicated by the potential of finally having a perfect woman in his life.

He had remained single on purpose. Andrew did not trust himself to act like a gentleman once aroused. And Kate was seriously arousing him.

He could picture himself going down on her and leaving her body shaking with pleasure.

It was wrong. It was immoral to think these thoughts. People like him did not deserve women like her. Angels. Pure celestial beings. They didn’t deserve monsters like himself who had no self control.

But Andrew so wanted to have her nipples between his teeth as his tongue flicked and teased while his hands held hers behind her back and he slowly let his arousal danced at her divine pink gates.

Andrew popped a sleeping pill. He needed to silence the torment. He would never ever have Kate. There was no point in pining after the forbidden.