Peeking Through Cracks

The solitude had done his soul much good
Peace, refreshment, sanity.

However, being alone was not his ideal mood
Calm, control, prosperity.

Sharing with his lady was more his neighborhood
Thrive, alive, optimized.

Looking through a crack in the wall of his vaulted hood
Smile, sway, hilarity.

He stood and realized how much he needed her groove
Captivated. Motivated. Titillated.

His heart yearned for her smooch
Bliss. Kissed. Uplifted.

It was how she did and how she moved.
Sensual. Sexual. Erotic.

The problem… she really thought she knew
Ambition. Altruism. Nesting.

How could she really know that he needed her touch to cure his blues
Salvation. Exhilaration. Exoneration.

He struggled to convey to her just how he appreciated her beautiful
Speechless. Enamored. Transfixed.

Pounding his fist, he new he had to fix this for good
Resolve, restraint, repose.

Their future depended on his ability to be smooth
Educate, elevate, dedicate.

She may never look into the cracks, but he saw her sway… her loot
Admiration, pontification, memorization.

He’d have to give this vault and cave the boot
Exile, repentance, emergence.

Peeking through the cracks, wanting and yearning for his boo
Pining, not whining, devouring.

The solitude had done his soul plenty of good
Healing, recovering, still desiring.

Peeking Through Cracks

No matter how much a man tries to seal himself off, when hurt or angry, there is still a life line connecting his hear to his lady. Had that connection been cut, the relationship would have been ended.

Because there is an umbilical connection between the two souls, the seemingly solidly shut door to the vault has tiny micro fissures that allow some light to shine through. From the outside, these are invisible. But from the inside, they play a vital role in helping a man find his way back to his lady.

Often, what a man sees, while peeking, may well peak his desires to come back to her. But, sadly, many times, what is seen will keep him well hidden inside, as his mind and heart wrestle to figure out why the love of his life left him so deeply wounded.

This effect is compounded by a few orders of magnitude when trust is the vector that was hurt. That borders on the line of respect, a demarcation deeply vested in the ego. The unconscious impediment that drives the essences of his chivalry.

The Darkened Vaulted Revelations

If he’s really looking through the cracks, then what is he looking for? What is keeping him from manning up and speaking his mind?

Those are valid questions many women have asked. One can’t fault a woman for trying to keep her connection with her man intact. The thing is, the connection is there. It’s not gone away. However, because he’s pulled back, the line has thinned like a rubber band and may appear to be broken. Broken, more often than not, is not the case.

When a man, in general, is peeking through the cracks of his vault, he’s looking to see if it’s safe enough for him to return to his lady. The main reason for him being in the vault, to begin with, was the hurt he experienced from her.

It could have been an adverse emotional reaction, a strongly worded comeback, an action designed to make him jealous, or simply ignoring his plea for attention and affection. Whatever the cause, the man now feels he has to protect his own heart again. It’s not safe to leave it in her hands, especially if she’s angry and looking for blood.

The longer she fumes, the longer she’s hunting for accountability, the longer he stays put. In his mind, he didn’t do anything wrong. His lady came at him and cut him. Now, it’s time to play safe and stay clear away.

However, the longing to be with her, to feel her breath against his chest, to hold a lock of her hair… all calling him back. He wants the connection. He needs the satisfaction. He yearns to understand her soul close to his.

Therefore he keeps looking. It’s not fun healing alone. It’s not fun searching for the pieces in the midst of a dark vault. It’s much nicer when your lady speaks nothing in your ear and makes you blush as her fingers trace over the cut… leaving new skin behind… all pink from newness.

Sometimes it takes a more vigorous dalliance of cracking headboards to perform the much needed surgical suturing. Often times, the leather glove has to be applied. But even a series of calming kisses will do just as nice.

The path has to feel safe. The path has to be clear of hazards, especially ones with moral emotional implications. Until then, he stays looking, watching, hoping, waiting.

Of course, those moments are most infuriating for the woman who may not be aware that she’s sent her man running for protection. What she’s seeing is the love of her life gone. Her security has vanished. She’s not going to confront him head on, she’s going to fight for the intimacy she rightly deserves. Even if that means smashing into his chest with her fist or forehead. But that vault, ominous as it appears, is not very forgiving, so she stays clear… attacking from a safe enough distance.

Those are the moments when cooler heads have to prevail, when the emotions keep things overheated. This is where strength comes in. This is when her feminine graces can be at their best.

During the stand-off period… things may appear at a stalemate. Depending on personalities, anything can happen before both parties settle down and cool off.

Until such a cooler period, he sits in his vault, wondering what went wrong and how is it that all his efforts has caused him so much pain. Of course, anything to quiet the inner voices would help. A stiff drink, going out with the fellas, watching a movie, or going to sleep. Doesn’t matter. Anything to stop the devilish worries that somehow his lady wants nothing to do with him.

Oh how she has no clue how much it hurts to be handed such a blow without explanation. Until things make sense, he keeps watching through the cracks for signs that his love still exists and he can go back to the warmth of her embrace.

Funny thing happens when peeking through cracks… it often leads to peaking through… often called a resurrection.

The Vault

Appreciate you for following this mini series. All the associated posts will be linked below on a dedicated page. Click on the image or title to get to the other pieces. Thanks for reading ”The Darkened Vault Series” trilogy.

Below is the entirety of the trilogy… as it unfolds… for those who want to re-read or binge once the set is done.