There has been a special poetry like segment living on the portfolio side. It’s been a bit of an experiment to explore darkened feelings. The space where resentment could creep in and ruin a good relationship.

This was part an effort to push my writing, try something new, and also connect with raw emotions differently. Some may be tempted to think I’m writing about me. No. That’s not the case. I’ve just tapped into feelings I’ve experienced in the past and connected them to situations others have shared with me.

I feel there are people who struggle with their emotions and don’t know how to relate them safely and smartly to their partners. I’ve heard guys complain of being taken for granted by their significant others because they can’t put into words how the feel.

I’ve heard women complain that they speak to their partners and feel that a wall is more responsive to their plight. Yet, those very men tell me about how rough it is to feel all these nuanced feelings, have no words to describe what they’re feeling, and cringing in pain. All they want to do is lash out and punch something. But it’s the wrong response. So they clam up and say nothing.

I’ve heard guys struggle with anxiety because they can’t understand why they feel so aroused at the thought of spanking their woman, or securing her with cuffs, or spanking her with a stick, or saying humiliating things that would make her blush. They feel they’re insane or going insane. They struggle with the desire and think they’re defective.

I wanted to put words to those feelings. It’s an experiment. Something worth trying. You can tell me if you think this experiment went well… in the comment section below.

Wrapping Darkness

I’ve had years when I’ve struggled. Before this blog came to light, I too didn’t know why I felt what I felt. I had no one to speak to. I had no experience with these feelings. Everyone around me had other feelings.

I couldn’t understand why I was wired the way I was. In my case, whenever a lady was in need of assistance, I felt intense adrenaline. Had no words to describe it to anyone. It happened if I saw a lady struggling with a baby carriage to climb up two flights of stairs. I had to help. It was like an addict seeing a joint and just “knowing” he’d never get caught if he took it and smoked it. I felt it whenever a lady asked for help and you could feel her earnest plea. I felt honored to be chosen to help and compelled not to let her down.

Yeah. It was the awkward teen years and a long long time ago, but thinking about it makes my fingers shake. It was a tremendous level of energy.

I wanted it gone. I felt I would one day be enslaved by a woman who would use those feelings to captivate me in a web of tricks. I hid my feelings deep. I shoved them hard into a vault. It was a serious lump in my throat that burned and stung.

Eventually, I grew up and understood that I’m normal. I like what I like. However, I also started meeting guys who never accepted their feelings.

I was touched knowing some would cry privately thinking they’re going to hell for loving what they love. Yet, they would deny this for eternity if I ever betrayed them. I’ve not betrayed a single one. I understand the anguish.

I tried really hard to relay this in words for my reader to understand. Who knows, there might be a person reading this and the light bulb turns on. They can now connect with their significant other better.

The Darkness swirls

Society has not made it easy for men to express their hunger and need. They’ve been told to “man up” too much. They’ve been told to be strong and hard. Yet, women lament the lack of empathy, lack of connection, lack of relate-ability.

Media. Locker rooms. Ignorance. Fake stories. Sensationalism. All contribute to making this problem live on through generations.

The male appetite has been type cast into a rigid set of parameters. He is either chill, mad, frustrated, or horny. The pressure is now placed on the women to divine what a man is thinking and somehow is responsible for that.

We men do feel. We do experience a large spectrum of feelings that we aren’t always sure how to express, identify, and share. The tides of time is changing and men are learning to be far more in-tuned and expressive of their feelings. Especially when it comes to balancing their kinky desires with that of their women.

The BDSM lifestyle may require many to hide their true feelings and identity behind a cloak and veil of caricatures. This is why trust is so critical. For the exchange of power to work, both parties have to trust each other to be authentic, honest, open, transparent, and truthful. A lot of words to describe the simple element of safety within the bond.

When feelings get locked away, they rage. They fight. They buck the system. A beast mode gets activated. Logics starts to get warped. The feelings want out. They always get out. It could be through accidental outbursts, passive aggression, physical symptoms, or other ways. The healthiest of ways is through safe expression.

The mounting pressure of locking away feelings, such as desire, can do a number on one’s mind. It is very exhausting to pretend one isn’t drawn to their partner so intensely. It’s mind numbing stress. It’s vertigo inducing mania. You want your partner. You want to connect in an animalistic primal spiritual level, yet, you’re trying to tame it and wash it in bleach. It’s just as coercive as suppressing negative feelings

That said, just because feelings are expressed tactfully and safely doesn’t mean this is the new lay of the land. Many people will tell you that they feel things but don’t act on those feelings. That’s the luxury of being part of the human specie. We can decide how we will react instead of being slaves of our appetites and urges.

The purpose of this poetic trilogy was to give a glimpse into the waves of feelings that can easy intermingle as they play. Feelings are good. Feelings are great indicators. How we manage their expression is the key. It’s starts with embracing the feelings and letting them pass through their course while being very mindful of how we opt to behave.

Speaking of mindfulness, many have learned, sharing deep seated intimate feelings with someone other than your partner can have consequences that can easily ruin what you have. Under ideal circumstances, we should be able to share with our partner our feelings and darken them in a productive sexually pleasing way that builds trust and bonding.

Hopefully, the poetry will prove enlightening. I’ve set up a set of links below where you can read all the individual pieces. Let me know what you think. Click like… comment… and share.

My hope is that this set brings about closeness with your lover and you both experience a more meaningful closeness than you’ve ever had before.

The Darkened Vaulted Revelations

Thank you for following this mini series. All the associated posts will be linked below. Click on the image or title to get to the other pieces. Until our next series, which will be a surprise, keep fueling your passions for each other… while telling each other how much you value what you have together.