The counsel has purposely not left a job description for what a Dom is with the understanding that each man has the potential to define what a Dom is for himself. There are guidelines however that supports and leads men into the right path of dominance.

What does being a Dom entails?

Four skills every Dom must master

Being the dominant in a relationship is a huge responsibility. It’s not for the weak, the faint, or the lazy.

Being responsible for someone else’s well being should require a PhD in multiple disciplines of study. Just like long term relationships and marriages require specializations that many ignore.

The Dom takes on the duties of making the best decisions for his sub. His role is defined by the role of his sub. He’s responsible for her wellness, her happiness, her satisfaction, her growth, her prosperity, her sanity.

Of course, the duties far exceed this short aforementioned list.

To start the conversation, let’s summarize a Dom’s duties into a few general buckets.

Bucket 1 – Trust

A Dom is to secure the trust of his sub. He has to earn it. Sure, some subs will grant you a measure of trust, but the bulk of the trust has to be earned, sustained, nourished, and validated over and over again.

It’s more than just saying “I love you” or “I own you”. It’s the constant demonstration of character worthy of being trusted.

What most wannabes don’t understand, trust is renewed daily. Most males work to get the initial trust to touch the body and play games. The real man will work for the trust of the mind, heart, and soul well before getting to the physical touches and delights.

Most alpha women know how to assess a man’s trustworthiness quickly. Young princesses have not yet learned to fully trust their guts in reading men.

Sadly, some males are predators, who are good at simulating the feelings of trust for their own gains. But a gentleman knows that real trust takes time to create and solidify.

Any man who wants to get into the privileged position of a Dom has to be willing to do the work of earning and keeping the trust alive. If he’s smart, he will raise the standard of trust every month, every week, every year, so that his sub grows more comfortable with trusting him.

Bucket 2 – Security

This is not the willingness to beat up any guy who looks at your lady. This is about making sure the woman feels safe emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and intimately with you.

Women do not like feeling insecure about anything. They crave security. They crave knowing that their hearts are safe and won’t be ripped apart with dishonesty, lies, and abuse.

It’s beyond keeping your arms around her in a strange land. It’s about knowing her needs and anticipating them so she doesn’t have to think about her needs. You’re providing them for her because you took the time to learn and apply the solution skillfully.

A sub needs to know that you’re going to put her as your top priority and will be blind to the other women gunning for your attention.

More importantly, a Dom has to be a man of his word. What he says is as good as enforceable law. This applies to the treats, the punishments, and the encouragements.

A man’s character is defined by what he does day in and day out regardless of who is watching. That’s integrity. This is what fuels a woman’s sense of security around her man.

Bucket 3 – Love

A Dom loves his sub on a level beyond simple words. It’s not the feeling of love alone. It’s the actions of love.

A Dom will diligently care for his sub… even better than himself. He will sacrifice himself to ensure she’s aware of his love for her. Each Dom has his ways, but no matter the way, the sub feels loved.

Some specializes in after care, others in pre-care, others in just general care. No matter the specialty, a skilled Dom will take the time to learn the language of love his sub uses and speak love into her heart and soul. (if you’re not skilled in aftercare… get you some skills asap… thank me later)

The males that use the terms of love just to get into the pants cause untold damages when they drop the sub and move on to their next selfish agenda. A Dom is careful not to speak hastily of love. He understands the implications of his words.

Once a Dom is ready to do the work of love, he won’t hesitate to lavish his sub with the words of love.

His voice may at times be gruff, his tone a bit severe, but when he speaks to her lovingly, she grows intensely drawn to him and receptive of him. The tenderness, the gentleness, the meekness of his loving words are beyond syntax.

A Dom knows that a sub derives her magical powers by having access to his heart and feeling his love. A Dom will not deny her of love nor cause her to beg and plead to feel be loved. A Dom makes his heart welcoming and homey for his sub to reign in.

These males who cause women to search needlessly for crumbs of love are worthy of the gallows. Our society has rules against that, so we just need to educate these men to learn how to be expressive. Women need to feel, hear, taste, see, and experience love.

Bucket 4 – Empowerment

Empowerment.

A Dom does not want a weak sub. However, he will work with his sub at her level and help her grow to her fullest potential.

He speaks life into her soul. He encourages her to grow and try new things. He supports her quest to become her best self.

Why?

The more powerful and secure a sub feels, the more she’s able to submit to her Dom. The more she can give of herself to help him be his best. It’s really self serving but selfless as well.

A great Dom will invest in his sub. He will toil in any way he can so she’s a better person each and every day. Of course, all while respecting her individuality and preferences.

A Dom won’t push his sub to go where she doesn’t want to go. He will nudge her and help her discover where she’d like to go in instances where she’s not yet aware of her potential. But he won’t push and put her too far out of her comfort zone and cause harm to her being/heart.

For those who don’t yet know, a Dom can and often does appreciate an alpha female and treats her with high regards. Her strength is an asset, not a cause of intimidation. He will encourage her and nurture her strength so that she always remains strong. Only boys cower in fear of an alpha female. She recognizes and respects a Dom, worthy of such. She’s not above submitting to a Dom either.

Bucket 5 – fill in the blank

Now, there are more points that a Dom needs to have. There are more tools he has to master. We can go on and on for days discussing what a Dom needs to have.

This is the part where readers can jump in and leave comments and add to this list. Do tell, what skill does a Dom need to master?

As we prepare to close this post, keep in mind that a Dom doesn’t have to come with every single points already fully matured and developed. He needs to have a foundation and the willingness to grow and add more to his arsenal of tools to take care of his sub.

This is where the reader’s contribution helps. The more options available, the more a man can see is possible. He can pick a set of skills to work on and develop throughout the year, like a set of resolutions, to become a better Dom.

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Wolf Wednesday

Being a Dom is not a stagnant title. It’s an active mastery of oneself for the sake of being a better leader to the woman who depends on you. It’s being a better provider today than you were the day before. It’s being a better listener today than you were the day before.

Being a Dom means a series of self sacrifices to become the type of man that is worthy of your sub’s adoration and affection.

Just like we expect our subs to be their best, they deserve our best and our continual advancement towards our ideal selves.

Each member of the wolf pack has to devote himself toward the study of mastery in all aspect of his life. The women of the pack already do this. Men don’t get a pass by default of their y-chromosome.

This year, we hope to shed more light into the art of being a Dom. There are many perspectives and we count on the participation of the readers to shed ever more light in helping others elevate into the ranks of the Dom.

It’s time, wolves, to engage beast mode and rise up to the call.

the conversation on social got really good… may have to give a bonus post with some of their answers to the question… “what for skills must every Dom have?”

 

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For your reading pleasure, a sampled list of other Wolf Pack posts will be added below. Just click on the title or image to get to the post of interest. at the tail end of the page is a directory to get to the other sessions of the Wolf Pack

Appreciate any sharing of these posts you’re inclined to do. Helps spread the word.

1. Making a List - What do women want? What do men want? Do guys really know what they want? Do they really know what women want? Find out...because the answer is not limited to sex.
2. Bringing Back the Wolf Pack - To kick off the new year, it's time to bring back the Wolf Pack at full song Diving into a lot of topics this year.... is the plan Wishing you all a magnificient new year!!! Wolves... engage beast mode!
3. Four Skills Every Dom Must Master - A discussion: The fundamental skills every Dom needs to master. Thankfully, these are skills any man can learn
4. Bonus: Traits Every Dom should master - The good people of the internet filled in their list of traits every Dom needs With these, a sub will feel comfortable gifting her submission. Bonus content
5. With the goal of becoming a Dom… - The choices we make impact many. Leveling up is the only way to ensure we care for ourselves and those who depend on us Some say..being a Dom is a choice. Others say it’s a birthright. Whatever your view, we each can be better Let’s shape the future by being better. Our subs will thank us for it
6. Addressing the fragile male ego for Wolf Wednesday Q&A - Why do men have egos? Why are these egos fragile? Should men get rid of their egos? Wolf Wednesday looks into the shallows of the depths of an ego... and gives some answers. Dive right on in.
7. How do I get my lady to submit: Wolf Wednesday Q&A - Some assume it's a right to have their lady submit. Others demand, even order it. But is this really how it works? Forcing a lady to submit to you? Let's look at how to get this right... every time. Wolf Pack, engage beast mode!
8. Wolf Wednesday – Introducing the Revelations - Introducing the latest edition of Wolf Wednesday to the Wolf Pack. The 4th chapter: Revelations Taking a closer look at some of the understandings in a wolf pack Inspiration to be the best alpha in the pack
9. The First Revelations Chapter 1 Verse 1 - A man can boast of his skills all he wants, but without a partner to play, where's the proof? In trust based relationships, the person holding all the power is the one who says "yes" or "no" to the desires one wants. She defines what is allowed and he carries out these wishes. The first revelation, her definitions creates his reality

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To conclude this post, below will be a list of the various Wolf Pack projects… to be eventually sorted by years… for those who may like to binge read any of the posts they might have missed in the past.

Thanks for the time you took to visit and appreciate this blog.

Wolf Pack Sessions