There are many other goals a relationship needs to strive for in any given year, but communication is the topic of the day. Most people assume that blurted-out words are enough to establish a line of communication.

The way real communication works… both parties have to have an understanding of whatever was communicated. There has to be a means of consenting to a mutually agreed understanding.

Some people will use facial expressions, others vocalizations, and some will repeat what they heard to let the other know they got the message.

A Dom has to be very attentive to the way his sub will respond to whatever he is saying. But more importantly, he has to be extremely in tune with whatever she’s saying to him about whatever her needs or experiences are.

Without that key in-depth understanding, grave errors can be done. The sub is trusting the Dom to make decisions in her favor for her. This can’t be done without thorough understanding of what the sub wants.

How else can a Dom know how/when affection is needed or correction/reproof is necessary. Worse, how it should be delivered?

How does a Dom know how to support a career move or endorse a life change in his sub if he’s not accurately aware of how these changes affects her and what she needs from him during these changes? A Dom has to be a master listener. Period.

Perpetual Learning

No matter how good you were at listening the year before, this year, you’ve got to level up. That’s just the nature of life. As we help our subs move forward in their lives, they grow. This means we have to get better at listening to know what to provide and when to provide it.

Most men are fixers. They listen to give advice and to fix things. Most women do not want fixers. They want empathizers. Most Doms understand the need to be empathetic and are pretty good at it. Many work to increase their levels of empathy each and every year.

To be a better listener, we always keep in mind the simple basic questions that make for great conversation:

What –
When –
Where –
Who –
Why –

And even.. How –

What is she saying and what importance is it to her?
When refers to temporal relations. When was/will this information be relevant to her?
Where does she feel this… where did this happen… where does this impact her?
Who is involved? Who are the important players? Who can this affect?
Why is she telling you this? Why is this important to her?
How does this impact her? How does this impact her future plans?

Of course, this is not the most comprehensive set of questions and each Dom has to adapt these questions to fit the situation they’re in.

Having these questions top of mind allows the Dom to listen better, learn more… faster, and remember more details. This helps him understand his lady and know what questions to ask as follow up to better understand what she’s saying.

When a woman feels heard, understood, and cared for, she builds trust and connects with the person listening. This is super critical for keeping a Dom/Sub relationship going. You want your sub to feel safe, secure, and comfortable trusting you. That’s super important.

If she asks for a solution, don’t be too quick to give one. Think about it. Put forward options. Solicit more feedback from her. Then, do your Dom thing and make her blush.

Becoming a better Dom

These tips are just superficial tip-of-the-iceberg ideas that each man has to dive into and discover in greater depth.

Our responsibilities are immense. We have to be aware of that at all times. Complacency is not part of a Dom’s vocabulary or dictionary when talking about himself. Our women count on us to be there for them at all times. Some even test us routinely to be sure we’re available and present.

While this blog is aiming to provide more ideas, the writer is also working on his implementation of these ideas as well. The process never ends. We have to always sharpen our skills.

This point is being labored heavily because not all readers understand this crucial reality. So, do bear with me as I stress it once more. We have to level up this year just like every prior year and like every year to come. We must level up. Life demands it. Our subs deserve it. And our honor insists on it.

Wolf Wednesday

Independent of relationship status, all men have to understand the value of leveling up. The ego likes to think we’ve arrived. That’s the danger in the fallacy of the ego. We’ve never arrived to the fullest of stature of our manhood until the day we die. That’s when we finally arrive.

Until such a time, there is room for growth.

The position of this blog is that there should be weekly communication sessions with our subs. This could be something very formal as well as informal. We can’t allow a week to go by without having a conversation about the “us” in the relationship. (even if it’s as simple as asking… “how are we doing?”… just to be sure we’re good just be creative and don’t be that guy who sounds like he’s nagging or whining or insecure about how you’re doing)

This does not mean analyze every week and have serious multi-hour long emotional conversations each week. There is a time and place for those. Each week, a quick checking to listen is important. Those three to five minutes can spare you many lengthy chats… letting you have time for other more pleasant lengthy activities.

Keep in mind, the nature of these conversations change with the age of the relationship. You just never know your partner enough to neglect talking with each other.

Next time the pack meets, we will touch the fragility of the male ego.

Until then, wolves, it’s time to engage beast mode and level up.

For your reading pleasure, a sampled list of other Wolf Pack posts will be added below. Just click on the title or image to get to the post of interest. at the tail end of the page is a directory to get to the other sessions of the Wolf Pack

Appreciate any sharing of these posts you’re inclined to do. Helps spread the word.

Making a List - What do women want? What do men want? Do guys really know what they want? Do they really know what women want? Find out...because the answer is not limited to sex.
Bringing Back the Wolf Pack - To kick off the new year, it's time to bring back the Wolf Pack at full song Diving into a lot of topics this year.... is the plan Wishing you all a magnificient new year!!! Wolves... engage beast mode!
Four Skills Every Dom Must Master - A discussion: The fundamental skills every Dom needs to master. Thankfully, these are skills any man can learn
Bonus: Traits Every Dom should master - The good people of the internet filled in their list of traits every Dom needs With these, a sub will feel comfortable gifting her submission. Bonus content
With the goal of becoming a Dom… - The choices we make impact many. Leveling up is the only way to ensure we care for ourselves and those who depend on us Some say..being a Dom is a choice. Others say it’s a birthright. Whatever your view, we each can be better Let’s shape the future by being better. Our subs will thank us for it
Addressing the fragile male ego for Wolf Wednesday Q&A - Why do men have egos? Why are these egos fragile? Should men get rid of their egos? Wolf Wednesday looks into the shallows of the depths of an ego... and gives some answers. Dive right on in.
How do I get my lady to submit: Wolf Wednesday Q&A - Some assume it's a right to have their lady submit. Others demand, even order it. But is this really how it works? Forcing a lady to submit to you? Let's look at how to get this right... every time. Wolf Pack, engage beast mode!
Wolf Wednesday – Introducing the Revelations - Introducing the latest edition of Wolf Wednesday to the Wolf Pack. The 4th chapter: Revelations Taking a closer look at some of the understandings in a wolf pack Inspiration to be the best alpha in the pack
The First Revelations Chapter 1 Verse 1 - A man can boast of his skills all he wants, but without a partner to play, where's the proof? In trust based relationships, the person holding all the power is the one who says "yes" or "no" to the desires one wants. She defines what is allowed and he carries out these wishes. The first revelation, her definitions creates his reality

To conclude this post, below will be a list of the various Wolf Pack projects… sorted by years… for those who may like to binge read any of the posts they might have missed in the past.

Thanks for the time you took to visit and appreciate this blog.