A fascinating topic that often comes up in seminars and Q&A’s I’ve done is: How do I get my lady to submit to me.

This is asked of vanillas as well a lifestylers. I’m always amazed at the resistance I get to the answer I give. So, today, we’re going to tackle this topic. It won’t be the first or last time for this topic.

Before we dive in, if you’re reading this with your lady, don’t be surprised if she agrees with some things you aren’t inclined to agree with. In the end, I hope you’ll see something valuable that will bring you closer to having your lady submit to you.

How do I get my lady to submit: Wolf Wednesday Q&A

First and foremost, let’s get the controversial answer out of the way. You don’t!!

Wait.. Wait… wait… what?!?! No!

Yes.

Really.

You don’t.

Just watch the movie “When Harry Met Sally” and focus on the famous fake orgasm scene. For those who won’t do that and haven’t seen it, Sally fakes a world class orgasm inside of a public setting without being touched… much to the surprise of Harry (yeah, so much for a great spoiler).

It’s about time men realize, you can’t make women to wholeheartedly do anything they don’t want to.

Translation, you can coerce a woman into acting submitted to you but you don’t have her heart. You’ve only got her disdain and contempt.

Once she’s gained enough leverage, she’s gone from your grip of abuse. It’s really abuse when you force someone to do something they don’t want to do. It’s a violation of simple human rights.

No man wants to be coerced into anything. Many men fight to the death to retain their freedom from being forced to do anything against their will.

Why assume a woman wants to?

First things first, how does submission works?

I’ve enjoyed many fierce debates over this and will be watchful of the comment section to ensure that the debate remains civil, fair, and friendly even if fierce.

Submission is the free-will gift of trust she bestows on a man she deems qualified to uphold her trust and keep her safe.

It’s not something that comes automatically with a marriage vow or a relationship agreement of any kind.

It’s trust based and takes time to reach. Some men are able to garner that trust well before an engagement is ever suggested. Others spend their entire lives unable to get this.

Sure, many women have acted the role and delivered servitude to the ignorant man who assumed it was submission.

Submission is a matter of the heart. A woman is allowing a man to make decisions, within the parameters she’s set, with the understanding that he’s making the best choices in her favor for her well-being.

This automatically assumes that the man is capable of caring for another in addition to himself. Further more, he’s willing to put his own needs second to her needs. He’s willing to invest the necessary time to understand her, her needs, her desires, and will fight to ensure she gets what is due to her.

A man who accepts a woman’s submission is taking on a massive set of responsibilities. One of which is allowing the woman to have self determination and power over what happens to her.

In simple terms. If she didn’t agree to have something done to and for her, her man best not do that to and for her. That’s the bond of trust that is implied in her submitting.

The upside for the couple in which a woman submits is that she’s no longer burdened with a lot of stressful choices that keeps her mind busy. The man is handling this. She’s not free to love him more completely and enjoy herself more completely. The man also now is getting the much needed love he may not be able to verbalize but craves.

How does this look in practice? let’s consider a little fictional scenario

A wise man will come home and see the house a mess, see his lady is tired but eager to clean the place, and he steps in, takes over, cleans the place, runs water for her to soak in, then massages her and eases her worries and stress. Such a lady is now free to think of what is going to help her relationship because the worries of the home is addressed and handled.

Later that night, the man doesn’t have to feel frustrated that she’s too tired to have any fun. She is now offering herself for him to enjoy.

Not as a reward but an expression of submission to his gracious leadership.

The implication of this free will…

Because this is a free-will gift, it’s not a permanent condition.

Yes, you read that correctly.

It is not a permanent state of affairs.

A woman’s submission can be rescinded at any point in time for any number of reasons.

It could be as trivial as she’s lost interest in being submitted to him to more serious causes such as he’s done things to shatter her trust and confidence in his ability to protect her heart.

The list of reasons for a woman taking back her submission are endless and valid. It’s her choice. Has always been, will always be. And must always be respected.

A relationship can function perfectly fine without a woman being submitted. Even if it’s every male’s dream to know his woman is submitted to him.

Some relationships thrive because the male is submitted to the woman… and this takes nothing away from the male in such a relationship.

Submission takes great strength and courage. One has to really trust another to make decisions on their behalf. The degree of submission varies from woman to woman but the degree of strength is still massive.

This, therefore, implies that some women are not strong enough to submit to a man. Those, sadly, are the ones who get manipulated the easiest into servitude behaviors and get hurt the most.

Strong women know how to be selective about their submission. And are strong enough to withhold their submission without harming their relationships and protecting their hearts.

Crazy? Yeah. But very true.

As a man, you don’t want a woman who is bend over by force to give you what you want. You want a woman who willingly and happily submits to you on her terms. That way, it’s from the heart and is most precious.

Sure, it strokes the ego, but like in the last blog post, such a ego stroke is actually a good thing and will propel the man to do all he can to jealously protect this gift he has in his hands.

Which begs the question… how does a man get a woman to submit if it’s free will gift…