Sub aka Submissive
The most misunderstood role, in this writer’s opinion, is the submissive. Everyone wants to have the perfect submissive and few want to be called so. That is until they understand what’s really going on.
The most powerful player in the Dom/Sub relationship is the submissive. In many pieces of literature, the feminine gender is ascribed to the submissive role.
Sadly, many ill-informed males assume the woman has no choice but to submit, as a form of proper respect. Nothing is further from the truth.
The real power lies in the submissive. They determine the playground by which the fair and even power exchange takes place.
What’s the role of the submissive
Only a strong self-actualized person can truly give permission. This is why maturity and self-awareness is critical for the BDSM lifestyle.
A child or barely adult person can not give full consent of their will to another, because they don’t fully know themselves.
One can’t take anyone’s will away from them. They have the right to self-determination.
That said, a submissive will gift their choices over to a Dom for sake keeping.
The submissive will protect the heart and soul of the Dom. They will support, nurture, feed, and embrace their Dom. They are very skilled at protecting the interest of their relationship and that of their Dom.
In fact, their ability to gather information and resources to help the Dom make effective decisions is one of the most prized gifts that’s sadly overlooked by many.
When a man comes home to his lady, after the world tore into his armor, the way the woman recharges his batteries and calms his mind is unlike any other bond one can create.
The sub creates a garden of trust, a safe haven of spiritual rehabilitation, a barrier against insanity.
What the world sees versus what really takes place
The world may see a demure passive appearance, but the dynamics that misses the causal eye is very proactive and vigilant.
Most may see a well dress partner who keeps quiet, oblivious to the keen eye registering every movement and fleeting emotions. The world might see kindness and miss the steady hand moving mountains to facilitate the dreams of the Dom.
A submissive is never sitting idly. Their superior thought processing brings to bear intense probability functions to every situation they encounter.
A wise Dom will carefully listen to his sub and gain unfair competitive advantages against any other male who isn’t so fortunate to have a sub at his side.
In some instances, the submissive takes the lead to help her Dom appear like he’s taking the lead. Thus fulfilling her alpha dominant capabilities in service of the man she chose as a dominant in her life.
Remember, it’s a voluntary choice. A sacred selection. It’s a private matter that the world seldom sees. The Dom protects the covenant the sub set in motion.
This is why it’s crucial that a Dom shows himself trustworthy of such honor from his sub.
When a man is a sub
The world does not end. Life doesn’t become extinct. Relationships and society doesn’t go to hell.
When a man is a sub, he brings his male characteristics to the relationship and adds value. That’s all.
Sure, some males might tease him as he grows into his own, but this doesn’t stop him from being the best partner he can be. In fact, all that teasing and ‘struggle’ allows him to be more empathetic to his lady and support her all the more.
It’s high time society stops creating grief for men who are submissive to their women. They’re not weak, they’re not broken. They’re very powerful and capable. After all, that’s the key to success as a submissive, your power and capability.
Just like a female sub is self-actualized and very capable, a male sub is the same. The nature of play still gets defined by his consent and input.
Shallows of the Deep 