A man once stood up, with pride filling his chest, to declare his absolute dominance over the woman in his life. He was so self-assured, that he defied anyone to second guess his prowess as an alpha male.

Sadly, this scene plays out across the corridors of time. Many men declare themselves “Alpha Males” and “Dominant Wolves” without any context.

Calling yourself a Dom, while it sounds great, isn’t proof that you’re one.

The real alpha-wolves in the pack never need to call attention to who they are, as their actions speak for themselves. When references speaks for you without being prompted, your track record has done it’s job.

The First Revelations Chapter 1 Verse 1 – A sub defines the Dom

The world is rapidly awakening to the reality that’s always been present. Men will happily fake being men. For as crazy as it sounds, the ethos encourages boys to dress up like men and chase women and money as a symbol of their prowess.

The days of valuing and cherishing women, a formidable gold standard, is suffering the agonizing death of nomadic civilizations. Even with all the globe trotting of modern era, gallantry is giving way to transactional extraction of needs from one another.

The need for society to educate males on the art of manhood remains urgent, despite the growing attention from movements like Me-Too and feminist waves of education.

The issue is not the lack of information, but the reluctance of applied accountability to knowledge. Males, the world over, rely on antiquated notions that they can declare themselves triumphant and the world acquiesce in agreement.

The chase, the sport, the combat, the ranks, the earned bragging rights are trivialized with the notion that any self-declared trophy is enough.

Fortunately, women are way smarter than that, and have wised up to reality on the ground. Men are becoming rare treasures. And by men, we’re talking about valor, value, respect, decency, smarts, intellect, gallantry, and chivalry.

Let’s Define a Man

The presence of a Y-Chromosome does not make a man nor define one. A male exists in all forms and ages, characterized by juvenile behaviors and preferences. A man sheds the practices of youthful exuberance and gains a measure of wisdom, maturity, and capacity. He’s responsible, able to respond, capable of measured responses.

These are the foundational components that makes a man able to contribute to society, ride out the insecurities of uncertainty, and offer comfort and safety to those who are around him.

A collective of men ensures the vitality of civility and civilization. It’s a damming tragedy that society has to rely on women to uphold morality and the fundamentals of civility. It’s not because women can’t do this, as they’ve demonstrated amply capability throughout the centuries. It’s just not fair to demand high standards of one half of the population and allow the other half to live parasitically.

A Man versus a Gentleman

While a man is the mature state of male-ness, a gentleman is the purposeful polish of a man. The cultured, refined, honorable, and courteous man is the gentleman. He understands the critical balance of his needs and the needs of those about and around him.

Moreover, a gentleman will take into great consideration the feelings and values of others without negating the responsibilities he has to those he’s given his word to.

A man will provide. A gentleman will provide increase and opportunity.

A man will come home, after a long day’s work, and decompress in front of the television before pitching in. (Stereotype used for illustrative purposes)

A gentleman will ensure he crosses the front door of his place already decompressed, on time, and ready to pitch in immediately.

A man focuses on the essential first. A gentleman balances the essentials and the desired and delivers both.

Any good man is a gem to have. All boys should have men as role models. All women who want to date a man should find one.

The gold standard, as this blog proposes, is finding and working with a gentleman. Chivalry is not dead. It’s still around. Just harder to find and notice.

After all, a gentleman will not have his services abused, taken for granted, and disrespected. We do test our environments before revealing our skills.

A Gentleman versus a Dom

This, right here, is the multi-million dollar question.

Are they in fact two separate types of men?

Can a regular man be a Dom or is that only the purview of the gentleman?

In short, it all depends on the woman in his life.

The Question of the Dom

A woman, following the same logics above, is the mature state of a female. Sparing the duplication of text, a lady is the refined edition of a woman. All ladies are women, much like all gentlemen are men. However, the next level of the female is the most powerful of all.

The Under-appreciated Sub

In the trust dynamics, which has been touched upon several times in other Wolf Wednesday posts, the woman holds the keys of power. She defines the relationship and sets the boundaries in place.

The shortest way to explain this… a man approaches a woman, asks her to join him on a journey, promises to deliver a great journey, and she adds quality to his path and helps him make it their path.

That’s the age old story of boy meets girl. Of course, modern era nuances has the woman approaching the man, but that doesn’t change the principles as laid out here.

The recipient of the question holds all the keys and power. They can say yes or no. They decide how much they’re willing to participate.

In other words, the man approaches the woman and asks her to trust him in his creating of fantasy. He, as the proverbial beast, asks her, the princess, to be his and she decides if she’ll give herself to him or not.

The woman holds the power.

A gentleman understands this, respects this, honors this.