Leadership is Crafted and Perfected

About that Alpha Wolf thing. Let’s break that down for a quick second. Not that there is anything wrong with being an Alpha Wolf.

Leadership is the key to being the most dominant wolf. That wolf has to be able to handle the pressure of leading as well as securing the pack. He has to have insights, wisdom, experience, expertise, network, connections, negotiations skills, and a whole lot more.

These things are often learned through life experience and through apprenticeships. In the human world, that is through school, mentoring, apprenticeships, trial and error, and from listening to parents, teachers, etc.

Leadership is crafted and studied. Few people are born leaders. Some have the trait. Most all great leaders however had to put in work and listen to advice to become great world class leaders.

Time is how leadership is perfected. Some faster than others. But all have to put in the work. Without the work, the trust and respect is not built up and the group will not allow you to lead them. not for long anyway. One can bully their way to the top or wrestle it away but once that initial victory is followed by untrustworthy actions that erodes respect, another will rise and take the place.

What makes a powerful leading man is his ability to assimilate lots of information and make the best decision in favor of those who depend on his choices. The leading man in love is not demanding from his leading lady but serving and supporting his leading lady. In so doing, he secures her trust and respect. She in turn reciprocates and elevates her leading man.

The Dom needs key skills

On this first of Wolf Wednesdays… what are some of the key takeaways that any aspiring Leading Man can take? What makes him a better leading man? How can one rise to the responsibilities of leading man? (yes, responsibilities… lots of those)

Listen

No matter how much you know, you still don’t know enough. Listen. No one can know through osmosis what someone else is thinking. One has to ask the right questions and listen intently for what is said and what is not being said and what’s left between the lines.

When you think you’ve heard enough, that’s when it’s time to really listen. And listen very closely. People will tell you all that you need to know if you’re paying close enough attention.

That’s the key. Being mindful and attentive. Present. Responsive. It’s not easy, but it’s a skill like everything else and can be learned as well as mastered.

Understand

Most guys get into a lot of trouble here. They may get to listening but they don’t bother understanding. They don’t bother getting the tools of understanding.

What tools? There is empathy and there is sympathy. Most think that sympathy is all they need. But it’s not.

Being sympathetic means you’re able to related to the emotions the person is sharing with you. If they’re sad, you feel their sadness as if you were sad. Same for all the other emotions.

That is all well and good. When you’re trying to get her to snuggle up in your arms and feel safe that you get it. But that is not enough. Finding a fix after feeling her need is not the solution either.

Empathy is next. The ability to understand without being lost in the feelings. Example. Someone is feeling stressed out. Empathy dictates that this is not the time to add more stress to their plate. Someone is tired. This is not the time to go have them do demanding and tasking things. Empathy is about knowing what is idea to do in the moment of need.

Plan

Most guys swear they know how to do this well. Sadly, most don’t. Just remember, common sense is not that common anymore. Most guys will foolishly drive for hours and hours to prove they know where they’re going instead of figuring out where they’re actually going.

To understand the need after listening is one thing. To take cool calm collected time to put together a solution is a whole different beast entirely. Calculated moves is the name of the game. It may be in the moment but most times its in the future.

Your lady is upset she got a bad grade. Most guys think getting her a tub of ice scream then kissing her and groping her hard will solve her mood. Maybe. Not likely.

A planner who knows how much the class means to her will figure a way to be a source of meaningful solution for her. He’ll help her study. He’ll help cut down distractions that keep her from studying. He will find out and understand her study style to give her relevant advice (not his preferred study methods). He will do practice exams with her. Do homework alongside of her to understand where she’s getting stuck. Even hold back on nightly sex so she can focus on the exams instead.

Why? He wants her to be her best and happy. When she’s done passing the exams, they can go out and celebrate or stay in and have wild pinned down handcuffed booty smacking sex with tons of clit massages. However, that comes with planning.

Protect

Most guys feel this is their area of expertise. Put up the fist. Fight. Protection done.

Wrong.

Protection also involves prevention as well as defense. You may have to fight. You may not have to fight. But you do have to protect. The way that is done is in part influenced by how you plan.

One quick story.

A gal was once seen struggling to keep up with her date. He was berating her and insulting for being so stupid as to wear impossible heels on her date with him. He wanted to make the next event, but on foot. She was barely keeping up.

A good understanding planner would have hailed Uber instead of walking 10 city blocks. That’s protecting her by not using her up prematurely and incorrectly.

Had he also been more sensitive, he’d know that his 6 foot height compared to her 5 foot height means that even in sneakers, she has to take that many more steps to keep up with his singular large lengthy massive stride.

Protecting her means slowing down with your personal interest and putting hers on equal level or ahead of yours. (when appropriate). You’re looking out for her well being.

BTW. The gal never did go on that second part of the date. This write swept her off his arms by offering to walk much slower with her and showing that he understood that she needed to walk slower. A nice coffee break later, a friendship was forged.

Nurture

Nothing frustrates a person more than finding out they’re being used and not replenished. It’s draining. It’s stressful. It’s not worth it. Yet, many men do that to their women all the time. They take and take and take. When she gets bitter about it, they dump her and move one.

Silly boys in men’s clothing/bodies

A leading man will fuel his lady with whatever empowerment she needs. He wants her strong. He wants her at her best. He wants her to excel. Her success makes him look good. Her success is the crown of his glory. Her ability to be her very best means she’s got more resources to invest in her leading man so his success is the crown of her glory.

See how that nurturing works. It’s basically I take care of myself by taking care of you while taking care of myself. If that makes sense, you get nurturing.

If that doesn’t. Think about it this way. You’re responsible for your own existence. Providing your leading lady all that she needs to be her best means you get her at her best. You’re enjoying her ability to shower you with awesomeness.

Most men, wrongly, assume that by subtracting, punishing, demeaning, they will get obedience. What you’re setting up is the most powerful comeback from an angry hell-fury-bound estrogen time bomb. The best way to ensure a lady’s cooperation is to meet her needs and nurture her to be her best. She’s going to respond with loyalty. In said loyalty is the necessary gems that makes you have that cooperation you thought was obedience. (mileage may vary as some women are sadly broken and unable to compute niceness)