Introducing the Wolf Wednesday post. Something kicking around the back of the creative space that needed a bit of exploring. Until it has matured and grown to something more, every now and again, a blurb will show up on Wednesday. Enjoy and feel free to leave comments and questions. You’ve got a chance to shape out how this segment will grow.

The Pack is a Social Bunch

The web has it’s own versions of what the Wolf Pack is. In nature, the Wolf Pack is a social bunch of wolves who follow a certain organizational chart that keeps the play in order. One lives and breathes the bro code that keeps the band of fury friends alive and well. The hierarchy exists for a reason and to challenge it means to live by the consequences.

Of course, everyone from snake oil salespersons to honest gurus trying to help out, the notion that men have their own Wolf Pack has caught on and grown in favor of other explanations of what it is to be a man. Sure, it sounds great. Sure, it’s simple in elegance. Does that depiction do society as a whole a lot of good?

In the Wolf Pack, there are several roles that help keep the team together. The hunter. The organizer. The builder. The finisher. As one solid unit, they all pitch in their skills that allows the group to thrive.

The one notion that rubs many the wrong way is the one about the alpha dog in the pack. The allure, the fantasy, the prestige of being the alpha dog is huge. Everyone wants to be that one main dog. No one wants to be the others. Yet, the group can not function without every single dog pulling it’s weight.

The Wolf Pack works best when it works as a team. The individualism of Western Civilizations is at odds with the Wolf Pack philosophy that is being misused to encourage the Lone Wolf Mythology.

The Lone Wolf Mythology

It is very Hollywood to think that the Lone Wolf is the one who gets it done and wins all the time. It’s misleading to think that one can go at life alone without help or support. It is even more devastating when one things they can’t help others for fear it will take their Lone Wolf Alpha Dog status away from them.

Absurd

Being part of a team does not make you any less of a man. Listening to the voice and counsel of any other man does not diminish your worth as a man. In fact, the wise wolf is always attentive to all the wolves in the pack. Part of being the leader is being attentive. Life happens fast. Being able to have other men in your corner sharing valuable tips is key to your success.

In most sports, the lone superstar mindset gets a lot of press. However, what athlete at the supreme levels of performance can take 100% credit for their sole success?

What of the trainers, the coaches, the fill in opposition (who does the boxer box against in the training ring?), the support staff that caters to all the activities the athlete can’t address while’ they’re training? The list goes on and on. There are entire teams dedicated to making the one person look amazing.

The quarterback needs every player on his team to do their job exceptionally well so he can look like the hero that he is. The cyclist who wins the Tour de France depends on every other cyclist to do their job so he can look amazing.

Yet, the locker room chat and televised banter suggests that the leading man did it all alone and carried all the weight of the team and made everything work. Yeah. No. All the greats were part of a team and worked with said team to get their greatness.

Now, a smart wolf will give credit more than take credit. He may be the visible face of the tribe but he knows he’s not the tribe. He knows that without his tribe, he is vulnerable and weak.

Let’s just think about it. If a wolf is being attacked by another lone wolf. It is the dual to the death. Both get severely wounded and hurt in the battle. Only one walks away. Now. A second weaker wolf who is freshly rested and fed sees this carnage and jumps in to fight. The weakened winner might have been significantly tougher, but now is vulnerable to defeat because of the extensive personal damage taken from fighting another equally tough wolf.

Had this lone wolf been part of a pack, there would have been a circling of the lone wolf… a sizing up of weaknesses… a sharing of knowing looks and signals… a coordinated defense and attack. That singular wolf would have been torn to pieces and the winning team not much worse for the wear.

Same with humans. We are social beings. We aren’t lone predators and lone defenders. That’s not what we do. Especially in romance.

Wait??

Yeah!

Dating is often a team thing.

hold up

Think about it. How often do guys ask their buddies for insights about a woman they want to date? How often do guys get tips on how to handle a “difficult” or “feisty” or “kinky” or “dominant” or “submissive” type? Where do these tips and pointers come from?

The Wolf Pack

Sure, one can go at it alone. It’s not impossible. It’s not unheard of. It’s also not the fastest and best way being that we’re social and all. Imagine never telling a soul you’ve found the love of your life and keeping her in total secrecy from everyone you know. See how long that will last. Just sayin’